Tunnel Vision by Alyse Fowlks


Hey, this is to all my ladies out there. I’m specifically speaking to my younger ladies who are in middle school and high school. Boys will always be there, so you can wait to have a boyfriend. I’m not saying having “boy” friends are bad, but you should stay away from relationships. They are nowhere near necessary during this stage of your life. It’s important to stay focused on your education, health and well-being. Boys aren’t bad, but they can be distracting; just as you can be to them. They are just like any other person that is annoying—but of course the boy that you like isn’t as easy to push away and block out your life like someone else.

Since I was five years old, people have told me to have friends but not “boy friends”, and of course It went in one ear and out of the other, but now I understand their reasoning. Luckily, I’ve listened to the advice people have told me. For example, someone once told me a man does not make up your happiness. You determine how you’re going to live your life and no one should control it except you. Oh yeah, don’t ever let a man thinks he owns you or controls you. If you are unsure about what I’m talking about, talk with your parents or friends, or just someone who you can talk to about what you’re going through. It’s important to talk with a person you trust before making a decision that could potentially put your life at risk. Always reach out to someone, if you are in need. You will not regret your decision, just make sure you’re decisive with who you choose to tell your personal information to.

Recently, I was talking to a boy and after we broke up it mentally drained me, and I felt somewhat unworthy. You shouldn’t get emotionally attached to someone who is not worried about your well-being and life in general. And, my problem was that I didn’t tell any adult about what I was going through—I just dealt with it. But, I found ways to get over the break-up and disconnection between us. I started going to the gym and finding more activities. I used to always be in some sort of activity like band, basketball, softball etc., but senior year has become very different. I started to not care about a lot of things, and started to slip on my grades all because of a boy.

Therefor, ladies, you don’t need a man to make up your happiness—stay focused on your education, health and well-being. I am happy I didn’t decide to do any harm to myself, because the obstacles do not last forever; they are only temporary. Trust and believe in god, and he will get you through whatever you are going through. You can also find a women’s or church group that will help you with your issues if you don’t believe your family can not assist you.